With Each Shot
by Da.Hybrid.Queen
Summary: ...we all die a little.


**Author's note: I got the inspiration to right this fic while watching an episode of bones. If anyone gets the reference to the episode you are a true bones fan. And by the way, none of the dialogue between father and son was actually heard by Archer. This was my little input on how it was actually being at the party.**

**Anything in italic is supposed to be in a different language.**

Archer was sitting in the rec room, attempting to drink away the thoughts that were plaguing him.

"_Happy Birthday! Come my son, now it is time for the real celebration to begin." _

Archer gasped, a violent shudder running through his body. It was only after the shudder ended did he realize that he was still in the rec room. No one had noticed the little fit he had just had; if they did they weren't making any indications. The memory had been so real, as if he were actually there. Archer took a look at his surroundings, still not believing he was still in the room. He finally decided that the rec room just wasn't the right place to deal with what he was feeling at the moment, and stood from the chair he was seated in, got up and left without a sound, completely unaware he was being watched.

**Toad POV**

I was sitting in one of the lounge chairs across the room from Archer. I was watching the arm wrestling match going on between Meat and Worm. It had all started when Worm insisted that he was stronger than Meat. I couldn't help but glance at Archer, who had been completely ignoring me the whole day. He did this kind of thing at least twice a month. He would be distant for a couple of days, but he would be right back to his "pain in the ass" sarcastic self. But I couldn't help but notice how distant his eyes were. They were unfocused as if he was seeing something that wasn't there. But as quickly as the look appeared, it was gone in a heartbeat. I also noticed the shudder that followed. I frowned in response to the action, but didn't make a move to say anything, that would only make matters worse. Without warning, he stood up with his drink and left the room. I let out a long sigh, rubbing my face with my hands. After witnessing what I had, I knew this wasn't just one of Archer's "mood swings", it was something more serious.

"Aww, come on! That's the best you can do!" I heard Meat yell, snapping me from my trance.

I wasn't going to push the matter about Archer just yet. After all, I still had money on who would win the arm wrestling match.

**Archer POV**

The screams. The chaos. The mass panic. It was all just so real. I couldn't help but think of the incident again, as I downed the last of my beer. Why did I have to be the one to make this kind of choice? The tiny voice in the back of my mind kept telling me that it wasn't my fault, that I had to do it, that hundreds more people were going to die if I hadn't made the choice. But being the person that I was, I wasn't going to give in so easy. That was a family I had destroyed.

"_Happy Birthday, my child."_

"_Thank you, mama."_

What kind of person am I? A part of me was hoping that Toad wouldn't come in anytime soon. But, seeing as how I had missed dinner, he was probably going to ask some questions when he did, questions I didn't feel like answering at the moment.

**Toad POV**

The match was over. Ozone had had to give me fifty bucks. The man had bet on Worm to win, simply saying "always expect the unexpected". Ozone was weird like that. But what was really on my mind was the fact that Archer hadn't shown up for dinner. Even when depressed, he would always show up to meals. I was walking back to the room. I knew that I was going to have to bring up Archer's strange behavior, even though I didn't want to. I never was good at helping people through emotional trauma, so the whole situation was just going to be awkward. But the truth was I hated seeing him like this, if I was better at handling these situations I would try to help more often, but I just couldn't. Archer would never let anyone in his personal life. How could I help him knowing that he would just turn me down? I sighed knowing that I was going to have to face the inevitable. As I turned the knob I sucked it up and hoped he wouldn't be in there, but I was wrong.

**Archer POV**

My hopes were crushed as I saw him enter the room, a sense of uneasiness on his features. Figuring that if I wanted to get him to leave me alone, I would have to take charge of the conversation that was surely going to follow. So I decided to speak first.

"hey."

Toad raised his eyebrow at the greeting. Having read and seen these facial expressions before I knew he raised his eyebrow involuntarily. He could never do it if he tried to. I also knew he only did it when he was suspicious. I couldn't help but smile a little at the action, which caused him to knit his eyebrows together in confusion, but realization hit him and he frowned at me. He knew that he had been caught.

**Toad POV**

At first I had no idea why Archer smiled at me, but then I put two and two together. I had probably raised my eyebrow…again. I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Could you at least pretend that you didn't notice?" I asked, slight irritation in my voice.

As I sat down on my bed, I heard him chuckle from across the room. He clearly found this subject amusing, but I found it irritating. Besides, I wasn't dragging myself into this situation to talk about how I couldn't control my own face.

"I'm sorry, but I find it funny how you can't control your face." He said wryly. I felt my eye twitch, not because I was mad, but because he was manipulating this whole conversation so he could avoid what he knew I really wanted to talk about.

He must have noticed because he raised his eyebrow at me. "Getting pissy, huh?" he said with enjoyment. But I was going to change his game to my advantage, by being direct.

"Archer, what's been going on lately?" I asked out of the blue.

He looked up at me surprised. I smirked and gave myself mental cookies for catching him off guard.

"I have no idea what you mean." He said, looking away from me. Why did he always have to make things so hard?

"Something's obviously bothering you. I saw what happened in the rec room."

**Archer POV**

So someone had noticed? Why did it have to be him? My head started to feel light and I suddenly felt dizzy.

"_Come, now it is time for your gifts. Here, take this."_

"_It's a key."_

"_It unlocks the box that is in my study. You must promise to only open it after I have died."_

I gasped and looked around the room frantically. Seeing as how I was still in my room, with Toad staring at me like I had grown six heads, I tried to take deep breaths.

"Are you going to talk to me now?" I heard Toad ask from across the room. Seeing as how I was still trying to catch my breath, I could only nod. We sat in silence until I was finally able to breathe properly.

"Do you want the full story or the short story?" I asked.

"We can start off slow if it makes a difference." I said, trying to take things slow for his sake.

"I did something awful, something that I wish I never had to do." I said, trying to control the pain that was creeping its way into my voice. It wasn't working.

"I killed a little boy's father, during his birthday party." This time I didn't try to fight the pain, I couldn't. At this point I was pretty much a wreck about it. I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I put my face in my hands to hide them. I felt the weight shift on my bed and I knew Toad was sitting next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder. At first I flinched at the contact, but soon felt myself relax.

"Archer, I'm sorry. I want to help you, but I'm going have to ask for the whole story." His voice was calm, but held a trace of sorrow.

I didn't know which he apologizing for, because he felt bad for bringing up those memories, or because he felt sorry for me. I looked him in the eye and nodded.

**Archer Flashback**

I was in El Salvador, on a mission to take down a man named Alejandro Cruz. This was while I was with my old unit before I joined 141. We had information linking him to an arms dealer. He also ran drug smuggling. We tracked him to his local estate in San Martin. I was staked out two clicks away, in an uninhabited building. I had a perfect line of sight. His place was crowded with people, no one knew why. It delayed us from engaging for risk we would hit civilians. For the time being, we just observed. He finally came out of the house, with a young boy and a woman. It finally hit me; it was his son's birthday. I radioed it in; they said it was my call. I could engage and do the job I was assigned, or I could disengage, and we would go back and try again at a different date. I chose to engage; I took the shot. It was a perfect headshot, his blood showered everywhere. Everyone screamed; it was a mass panic. His son was crying, his wife was crying. After everyone realized what happened it was too late. I felt like crap for doing it, I had nightmares about it. Eventually I pushed it aside…

**Toad POV **

Archer trailed off, clearly not wanting to finish. He had told me this much, I wasn't going to force anything else.

"Archer, you were doing your job." I said trying to find a way to comfort him about it.

He simply scoffed. "Just doing my job, huh? Tell that to the family I destroyed. I know you just want to help me, you did. I needed to get it off my chest." His voice held less sorrow, but his eyes still held some sadness.

I was about to say something when he continued. "The truth about snipers is that with each shot, we all die a little. You haven't been a sniper long you're still learning. Eventually you'll understand what I mean. Thanks for caring mate." With those final words he left the room.

With these words I didn't know what I was supposed to think. I knew he was right; I haven't been a sniper for long. I haven't yet seen what he has, and now I don't think I want to. It took a while for that phrase to sink in. The truth of the matter is that no one wants to take a life, at the end of the way we're all people, and that's all there is to it.


End file.
